Horrifically Wicked Tales - 1X04 - A Promise To The Dead
This series is created by Selena and Jay, I'm assuming Jay wrote this episode. I own nothing, except for an upcoming episode I hope I'll still be able to write!
DISCLAIMER: I swear in my reviews. Like, a lot. A whole lot. I'm warning you, there are a lot of swears!! You've been warned!
Alright, so, we found out that Olivia is dead. Awesome. This means that anyone -- ANYONE -- can die. This is basically a big "Fuck you!" to the potential surviving Girl/Boy. Clara is obviously in some state of shock because of said death. Ahh, I see, they're watching Olivia's body be taken away. That makes sense!
There has been three deaths in just three nights. I remember last year Selena told me there would be a ton of deaths, well here you go people, we're getting our deaths! Then when Cohen starts smacking faces with Cass, Clara is just NOT HAVING IT! "OUR BEST FRIEND JUST DIED YOU FUCKING BITCH!!! HOW DARE YOU SMACK FACES WITH COHEN!!!" OK OK, she didn't do that... but she IS pissed off!
As for Leo and Oscar, they're quick to defend Cassie. Too quick, IMO. Hmm, is it possible Oscar and Leo had something to do with the murder? Did Cassandra? OR, is little miss Clara acting like shes in a state of shockery when SHE ended up killing Olivia? Oh, the possibilities!
OOOH, it looks like Clara is sharing some of my own theories! Of course, if she's the true killer, she'd definitely want to cast it off herself and onto another person. What a bitch, I fucking love it!
Okay, can I just say I think Clara's a stupid fucking bitch? She has no fucking proof Cassie's the killer, she has no evidence, let alone circumstantial evidence, yet she attacks Cassie like she's a fucking viper protecting her baby eggs. Like seriously? And then the writers just HAPPENS to flash forward a week?! Mmhm, I'm watching you, WRITERS!!! ;) Lol okay moving on...
ONE WEEK LATER!!!
The remaining Bitchettes are getting ready for the funeral. Cassie is ringleading this little memorial thing they have going on, with Chase and Vev at her side. They basically hold their own memorial, think of the olden times, cry, light a candle and then we're flashing back...
Eight Month's Ago...
Olivia is getting her hair done while Cassie is grilling her on what to do when someone commits acts of treason against the Bitchettes...
What do you do when a girl wears the same dress as you? Well, according to Olivia, you splash red wine on it and get your boytoy of the month to rip the dress to shreds WHILE STILL ON the said girl.
The next "attack" is rather old school, but it still works! When someones being a creep towards you, what do you do? Just take an embarrassing photo of him and blackmail him with it! That's totes OK!!
But of course Cassie saw right through Olivia's answers. She was quick to correct Liv on everything she did wrong. Of course Liv also slipped up and mentioned our dearly departed Bitch, Callista. Um, oops! But she was still allowed in the Bitchettes anyway. Yay, here's your broach, you fucking bitch! PARTY POPPER TIME!
Back in the present, it looks like our friendly detective has paired up with the annoying yet totally amazing journalist, Blaire Robinson. Can I just say I hate her and love her all at the same time? We know she's gonna cause problems, we know she's most likely gonna croak due to the killer, yet I hate her but I love her... ya know? Anyway, Blaire's a bitch. I know it, you know it, Jay knows it, and Selena knows it. Blaire's a fucking bitch, she will do anything she can do further her career, do I think she cares about Windsor Academy? Fuck no!! She just wants to make the big discovery on who the killer is!
Okay, I just sensed something. Is the Detective dude attracted to Blaire? He totally is!! I predict that he and Blaire will have sex by the time this episode is over! Anyway... We learn through Blaire's questioning of the Detective that Raven is locked up in his room because he wants to be. Doesn't he at least go to class? Or are classes cancelled and I just happened to overlook this??
Anyway, the whole point of this scene is that they're totally gonna have sex by the end of this episode... Blaire and the cop.
So I'm reading the next part with Clara reading through Olivia's FB wall and she thinks about calling Tyler... Now, Ty was the character I created for the series, so now that his GF is a ding dong dead bitch, what's gonna happen with him? Will he die next?? Will he quit Rugby? Is he gonna start cutting class? What?! I need to know this!!! As I'm here wondering what's gonna happen to Tyler, Clara is over there having a flashback from 2 years ago...
TWO YEARS AGO
Clara and Liv is enjoying(or not?) an unusually hot day in England when Callie and her other Bitchettes, along with the Rugby team marches up to Raven to bully him. Callista calls him a fat whale and makes the Rugby team attack him. What fucking monsters! Anyway, Liv makes eye contact with that amazing, beautiful broach. Ooh, we can all tell she wants one!! And then to make matters better, or worse, however you wanna look at it, Liv and Tyler locks eyes with each other. Obviously, it's a romance in the making!!(Or not, since, ya know, they never had sex to begin with. Poor Tyler!!)
Speaking of Ty, we're about to enter the next scene...
PRESENT DAY - Tyler and Cohen's room
Poor Ty-Ty is a disaster. All week he's been stuck in bed, looking over pictures of our dearly departed bitch-not-really, Olivia. Cohen and David are in the room with him, but it's no use. Nothing can help Tyler now. Apparently, there's a rugby game being played today, but Tyler just ISN'T having it. His girlfriend, and let's remember, he never even had sex with, is dead so he doesn't wanna play. Understandable, right? Then lay the fuck off my Tyler, Cohen and David! God damn!
OH MY GOD, TYLER BABY, GO OFFFFF!!! Tell those fuckers what is UP!!! He's on fucking FIRE now guys! Not literally, but ya'll know what I mean! Omg NO! NO NO NO, TYLER STOP IT!!! Omg, this poor boy! I just want to go to Windsor and comfort this poor soul!! Shit, this is good writing! Okay, moving on!
Wow, look at Lavender! She's mighty confident that she's safe from the killer just because she has a few more months to go before she can move on from Windsor?? SHE'S THE KILLER. I FUCKING KNEW IT!!!
HO-L-Y SHIIIIIIIT! So Jon has been dragging Jules, Caleb's little brother, all around the school, right? Well, Lavender has been watching the harassment and bullying going on and she felt bad for Jules, right? She was gonna give Jon a piece of her mind WHEN CALEB GRABS HER AND SHOVES HER UP AGAINST A LOCKER?! UMMM, IS THIS CORRECT?! Why the fuck is Caleb pissed that Lavender's been watching Jules get bullied, wanted to HELP HIM OUT?? Caleb, maybe instead of telling this is Lavender, you should be telling this to JONATHAN?!?!
AND THEN... Raven appears out of NOWHERE and shoves Caleb against the lockers! REPEATEDLY! Um WHAT THE HELL?! It's all good though, because Raven and Lavender was planning a study session. Lav helping Rave out with his school work, what a friend! AND THEN... Oh yeah, and THEN... Daniel comes out of NOWHERE and confronts Lavender and Raven! Now this is gonna be GOOD... but we're escorted to...
Police Station!
LMMFAO!!! OMG THIS SCENE IS GOLDEN! Okay, so, at first I thought this was when Blaire and the Detective dude was gonna kiss and make out, but something totally out of left field happened! Blaire CONFESSED to being able to hack into laptops! TO THE DETECTIVE! Oh my God, this is hilarious! "Let's crack this bitch!" LMFAO THIS IS AMAZING!!! I love you, Blaire!!
Leo and Logan's Dorm
Before I get into the actual scene, can I just say I ship Leo and Logan? Absolute hotties!!
Okay, so Leo is talking to his friends and he wants to help comfort Clara, but his boytoy Logan isn't having it! He wants Leo all to himself, but he's being a jealous little asshole. The secret couple talks it out, and Logan wants to take Leo to his first bar to buy him his first ever drink. Yum, that's gonna be fun!! And look at this rich little bitch getting all sorts of money?!? What the fuck, has it been confirmed WHERE he's getting all this money?!?! Do I need to go back and re-read everything again so I can understand what the fuck he's doing to get this money?? Is he selling stocks or something? Is he selling trade secrets?? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, LOGAN?!?!?!
Anyway... in the Hallways...
Okay, can I just say I really fucking hate Oliver?? And I fucking love Oscar. I remember reading how the twins were polar opposites of each other, and oh my dear fucking God, THEY ARE!!! Oliver is such a prick, and Oscar is obviously taking a hardship over his friends' misery, but does his twin care? NO!!! He just cares that he gets to have sex with Chasity! OH MY GOOOOOOOOD OLIVER SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! You're seriously pissing me off!! Your brother is in a state of mourning SO FUCKING COMFORT HIM INSTEAD OF MAKING HIM FEEL EVEN MORE LIKE SHIT!!! Jesus fucking Christ!!! OOOH! OH OH OH, FUCK YOU OLIVER! FUCK YOU IN THE FACE!!!
Dining Hall
Omg omg this is it! This is what I was waiting for! Okay so this is Lavender, Raven and Daniel's meeting! Oh my God, Daniel is gonna be going all out here. Raven was asleep in the bed when Dan's sister was killed, so basically Raven was an accessory to murder. Even though he was alseep. This is seriously coming from Daniel right now, I swear to God!! The meeting turns into a theory pool, and who does Lav think the killer is? Casandra!
I want to know something. Why does everyone think Callista slipped and fell? Because it was raining? Because it was wet on the balcony and she was drunk? Um, open your eyes, sweetie pies!! Callista was murdered and there are murders happening RIGHT NOW... It's not a coincidence!!!
Doesn't anyone else think Daniel is going a little too far? I mean, I get it, his sister is dead. Murdered. But now he's risking a whole lot of shit to get answers. Dude, this isn't your ordinary series, MORE PEOPLE WILL DIE IN THIS SHOW, DANIEL!! DON'T TAKE DRASTIC MEASURES!!!
Suddenly, the Mendoza's has a random ass fight in front of EVERYONE! Umm what the fuck is going on?? Was it ever confirmed that Mr. M did? Did he cheat on his wife? Because I know Dean hates his daddy with a passion, so was it cheating? Fraud? Trade Secrets?? OMG WHAT IF HE'S THE ONE PAYING LOGAN?!?! OMG WHAT IF LOGAN IS BLACKMAILING MR MENDOZA?? OMG OMG OMG!!!
The Changing Room
Poor Dean is feeling really depressed... I think half the school is depressed. So many dead people who had so much influence over half the fucking school, so it doesn't matter who you run into, SOMEONE is hurt. Raven? He's hurt because everyone thinks he killed the victims. My baby Tyler? His girlfriend croaked so of course he's upset. Clara? Yeah, her bestie died so she's in a state of shock and mourning. The Bitchettes? Honestly, why do they even care? Well they do, so they're depressed as fuck that they're one woman short in their little group. Yikes. So many sad sad students.
Look at David being such an amazing friend to Dean!! He cares about his friend so much, he's asking how he's feeling. So amazing!
WHOOOOOA THIS CAME OUT OF LEFT FIELD! Apparently, Joel is kicked off the team! Basically, Joel "broke down" and accused Cohen of being a full-on Socio. Um because he is? Anyway, everyone ganged up on him, with the exception of David and my baby Tyler(for obvious reasons) but David was ready to defend Joel, unfortunately Cohen got in his way.
OH OH OH OH THIS IS SO STUPID!! They're kicking him off the team because of some stupid comments?! OH MY GOD, GOD FORBID YOU SAY SOMETHING BAD ABOUT YOUR TEAM MATE! For fuck sake! I mean, David tried, he did. I'm kinda sad he didn't quit the team, but I know Joel told him to stay on the team, but whatever.
Blossom Dorms
Oh my God, this is getting scary... Okay so Oscar's trying to catch some ZzZz's but someones watching him. Omg, is it the killer?? Is the killer stalking him now?! So Os pretends to be asleep, he's getting ready to attack with a clock and then...Oh, it's just Caleb?
Okay so basically, Caleb wanted his roomie's advice on how he dealt with his stupid asshole of a brother. This lead into a discussion about how Jules is always getting bullied by the other guys, cause he wants to be popular, and Caleb doesn't want that for his brother.
Sadly, what the whole discussion came down to was that Caleb can't do anything to save his brother, but he's gonna keep trying. AND THEN HOLY SHIT!! MR MENDOZA CAME OUT OF NOWHERE AND GRABBED CALEB?! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON NOW?!?!?
The Courtyard - 9 Months Ago
Clara and Olivia are hanging out outside while Clara is writing notes down in her little notebook of #Secrets(Just a prediction) while Olivia is checking out my baby, Tyler. Clara noticies her friend giving my Boo the look and tries to encourage her to just ask her out and do it already! But no, Olivia tells her it would be a TRAVESTY to do such a thing!! This takes proper -- PROPER -- planning!! AKA, wait for Tyler to ask Liv out. That just always works... -Not-...
OH OH OH OH WAIT!!! THIS IS SOMETHING I WANTED TO SEE!!! IS THIS WHEN OLIVIA BECAME A BITCHETTE?? The Bitchette's walked right towards the girls, and became all nicey-nice with Clara and Olivia. Clara saw through their petty little fake shit, but Olivia? Her eyes were on that diamond bee broach and of course my Tyler-Poo's hot piece of ass!
So the Bitchette's made their offer, but Clara ISN'T having it! Why join the HIVE and become a Bitchette? At what cost? Well, according to Olivia, she wanted that hot chunk of Broach, AND the piece of Tyler's ass that came attached with it! So what oh what will the girls do? We don't know exactly because we're taken back to...
Iris Dorms - Clara's Room - Present Day
Clara is alseep in her bed, but wakes up to Leo in her room. Apparently, he and Oscar has been going back and forth making sure Clara is doing all right. Isn't that just so sweet? Leo gives Clara some sweet advice that she has to move on from Olivia's death, then everything turns to where Clara declares she's gonna turn Leo into a proper Brit while he's at the school. He's gonna go through all the things British people does in their time. The food, the movies, the culture, EVERYTHING! Also, this includes chick flicks. Cause, why not?
Wolfsbane Dorms - David and Jon's Room
CONGRATULATIONS RUGBY TEAM! They won the match, which Im a little surprised considering my Boo and Joel were both absent. I was expecting them to lose, to tickle me surprised. Also, if David wants out, then why can't he just quit? If this is going against his morals and better judgement, why the fuck is he wasting his time with the other guys on the team? And then when Dean asks about Tyler, Jonathan has the AUDACITY to tell everyone Tyler needs to learn not to mope and bitch and cry... BIIIIITCH! HIS GIRLFRIEND JUST DIED, YOU FUCKING MORON!! MY GOD, JUST GIVE HIM TIME TO MOURN! JFC!!! And then! And then David finally snapped! How dare Jonathan treat Jules the way he is! David tells Jonathan, threatens really, to put everyone in detention. OOOOH, DETENTION!! Honestly, I think Jonathan is gonna get more than a detention, if you know what I mean. If a "surviving girl", let alone a female lead, can get killed, then a guy getting killed in this series is only right around the corner!
AND THEEEN, oh my God, the embarrassment just keeps on coming. Cohen decides to make a toast/memorial speech about everyone that's died so far, and fucks everything up by being a fucking asshole. "To all the beautiful young ladies we have lost ... it's a real shame that we'll never get to fuck any of them," ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?! And then Dean just looks at Cohen, pissed, and leaves the room! GOOD! Cohen and Jonathan needs to learn their fucking places!
Oh my God when will this end? Poor Jules speaks up on Dean leaving and then everyone gangs up on him and beats him up... Ugh, poor kid.
Police Station - One Hour Later
Basically, we're back at the Soap Opera scene(No offense, writers!) with McKenna checking out our friendly neighborhood reporter. Basically, Blair is doing her job, asking questions, trying to fit the pieces to the murder together, while McKenna is busy deciding whether or not he wants to grab Blaire and jump her bones right there on the fucking table.
Everything is forced to a stop though because McKenna receives an anonymous call from the killer, and then all of a sudden, the fire department contacts the cops because the KILLER IS BURNING EV-A-DUNNNNCE! OMG!! Seriously though, this is probably just a plot to break into the station and steal the laptop. Maybe the laptop has the answer to Callista's secrets or something, I don't know. After the DNA reports, autopsy reports, etc etc comes in, McKenna wants to bring Cassie down while Blaire FINALLY gained access to the laptop! What secrets are hidden in all those files??
Periwinkle Dorms - Chas and Vev's Room
While Chas and Vev are studying, Vev leans on Chas for advice. She wants to have someone to love because of everything that's been happening lately. Is this a form of foreshadowment and Vev will die next? Chas tells Vev that boys simply aren't necessary, and I agree! Besides, did any of the boys save the female victims? Or tried to? NO!!! All they need is each other, and Chas is determined to bring the fucking killer down!!
Iris Dorm - Clara's Room
Clara and Leo are busy having "chick flick night" when Cassie comes to the room and offers some box. After she realizes Leo's in the room, Cassie becomes secretive and demands she be allowed out of the room immediately. She needs to talk, but not with anyone else present. Interesting... After Leo gives Clara some advice, she rushes out of the dorm and runs towards...
Outside Iris Dorms
Clara catches up to Cass and demands she lets Clara speak! She tries to apologize for "coming across as pushy" but Cassie ain't having it! But then, after apologies across the board, the two formed some type of alliance, but some foreshadowment within the script revealed that nothing will come out of it... and then... and then... I WAS FUCKING RIGHT! ONE OF MY THEORIES WAS CORRECT!!! Remember when I theorized that Mendoza was paying Logan?! WELL THAT'S BECAUSE HE IS!!! OMG OMG OMG I WAS RIGHT!!!
Outside Wolfsbane Dorms
Tyler is sitting outside, looking at the stars and thinking of Olivia. While he was in complete silence, it didn't last long. Footsteps broke the silence and when Tyler looked over to see, he spotted a figure in a black hood. OMG...THE KILLER?! The figure, whoever the fuck it is, ran away from Tyler, but why? Why not attack him, unless the killer was truly targetting only girls in the Academy? Tyler finally caught his stalker, but of course they're denying to killing Olivia! Um, of course they'd deny it, they wouldn't just ADMIT that... Poor Ty-Ty.
Tyler was SOOOO FUCKING CLOSE to seeing who his stalker was, but of course Raven and Lav just had to fucking interupt everything! Tyler is RAGED because the potential killer got away, and he wasted no time insulting Raven with the usual string of insults. After Raven and Lav leaves, Tyler is left alone and his anger gone. Now he just feels stupid and sad that he did what he did to Raven and Lav, the poor guy...
Wolfsbane Dorm - Single Bedroom
In a twist of events, we find out who Tyler almost apprehended! It was Dean Mendoza!! What was Dean doing outside? Was he watching Tyler? Was he trying to see what Logan was doing? Does he suspect his father is paying Logan at all??
Police Station
Blaire is looking through the laptop when she gets a phone call from McKenna. He's basically wanting a status report, but Blaire says everything seems to check out, that is until she enters Olivia's private internet history and see's she was researching the Priory! Blaire seems to be in the know of what The Priory even is. Blaire soon realizes she's being watched and needs the GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE! She grabs the laptop and her phone and gets the fuck out, hoping to head towards Windsor. As she gets to her car, her phone goes off and OMG THE KILLER IS CALLING HER!! After a few words exchanged, the Killer jumps Blaire and proceeds to kill her with a fucking wrench! SMACK, SMACK, SMACK!!
So Blaire is dead, which makes me mad because she was starting to become my favorite character plus she and McKenna never got to have the sex that I predicted they'd have at the end of this episode. So my predictions and theories just took a fucking flying leap out the window!
Ugh.
Iris Dorm - Hallway
This is a short scene. Basically Clara and Leo are ending their night and Leo makes sure Clara is ok to stay in her own room alone. Clara says it's fine and they both go back into their own dorms...
Iris Dorm - Leo and Logan's Room
Logan basically attacks Leo(not really) and kisses Leo with as much passion as he can. I think this means he has so much aggression or something that he needs to get it out via sex. Logan continues to kiss Leo, telling him he's excited for the upcoming date they have planned.
Iris Dorm - Clara's Room
Clara is pacing her room trying to decide whether she should rummage through the box Cassie had given her. Could she trust Cassie? After dumping the entire box, Clara found nothing of use except for the little box Olivia had found episodes earlier and some photograph. Clara tried to determine what was in the box, but its not like she could have opened it anyway... not unless she found another one of Callista's hidden keys. She wouldn't have time to open the box anyways because David came swooping in with a bouquet of flowers for Clara. David offers his condolences but before he could go and leave, Clara tells him she is done being the victim and she's ready to catch the killer right now! She just needs more members who will actually help them with the cause, which David shoots the Rugby players down. But it's okay, because there are plenty of other people to recruit, right?
Who wants to bet they recruit the killer, or killer(s)?
Periwinkle Dorm - Cass's Room
Cass just got out of the shower and is on the phone with Cohen, who is drunk. She's PISSED that Cohen ditched her like he did. Fuck that, no way!! After grabbing the broach and crying again, the Headmistress enters her room with McKenna. BITCH, YOU BE CAUGHT! YOU ARE UNDER ARREST FOR THE MURDERS OF CAMERON JOHANSSON AND OLIVIA WRIGHT!!!"
Lol, just wait til he learns Blaire is dead.
Overall, I liked this episode. It had so much emotional angst, sex, drugs, great writing...I AM UPSET THAT BLAIRE IS DEAD... but it's okay. Can't wait til the next episode!
