PLL - 101 Pilot - Recap

Hello Pretty Little Readers and welcome to the official Recap Blog for "Pilot" the very first episode ever in the Pretty Little Liar's Series only on ABC Family. 

Ahh I remember when I recapped this episode! It was the best episode since it WAS a pilot, after all!! We meet these strange yet stupid bitches and their fearless leader, Alison DiLaurentis with plenty of flashback backstory! So ready or not, here I come. Let's Redish this episode, shall we? 

We begin the episode with a barn. No, I'm not even kidding. It's a barn, and there's a flash of lightning and a crash of thunder. We see four teenage girls having a party in the barn, which isn't even a fucking barn. How the fuck can someone have a building for farm animals and on the outside, it looks like a maginificent piece of SHIT, but in the inside it's full of junk? I'm looking now, and there's broken moose antlers, a pink lamp, lawn chairs, Now would also be a great time to talk about these girls' clothes. The blonde...I don't even know WTF she's wearing. A purple hoodie? A loose WRINKLY, yes WRINKLY shirt, and I believe a pair of sweat pants?? The chick next to her, who already wreaks I have no idea why, she's wearing a small, right, ugly gray shirt. And...dear GOD, are those PINK HIGHLIGHTS?! Oh hon. The girl next to her looks like a total prep. Can we say nerd much? As for the fourth girl behind them...I can't see her yet, so I have no idea what the fuck she's wearing. They're acting like this is a horror film on AMC! Don't get me wrong, I love AMC(John Carpenters Halloween, anyone?) But yeah they look like they're gonna get butchered by The Lady in Black...Oh...wait...my bad, wrong season!! Moving on. They creep up to the doors, the rain is pouring, lightning is flashing... "GOTCHA!!" "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH WE'RE DYING!!!! SAVE US!!!!!!!!!" Okay the "dying, save us!" was added by me. Anyway, the four teens screams and I finally get to see what the fourth girl is wearing. Purple/pink hoodie, jeans, and I think that's a locket on her neck?

The blonde in the yellow blouse, we'll call her Alison, she thought it'd be funny to scare these poor little girlies. How mean, yet she's right. How hilarious! The girl in the sweats asks Ali if she downloaded the new Beyonce. OMG I TOTALLY DID!!!...Not. The girl in the purple/pink sweater, we'll call her Emily(Em for short) absolutely LOVES the new vid! "Maybe a little too much, Em?" Asks Alison. I love this girls attitude already. Hope we see more of her!!(Eye roll)  ALERT! ALER THE PRESSES!! IS ABC FAMILY PROMOTING UNDERAGE DRINKING!? Remember, the girl who I said who wreaks, takes a huge gulp of alcohol. Like WTF! This girl is a drunk? I can smell something odd about her. It begins with J and ends with Bait. Idk, I think it's just me. Way to go, ABC Fam, promote that underage drinking!! 

Prep: Watch out Aria, drink too much and you'll be telling us all your secrets.

Alison: Friends share secrets. That's what keeps us close. Drink up! 

And the drunken girl, we can call her Aria, takes ANOTHER huge gulp of alcohol! WTF GIRL SAVE SOME FOR THE REST OF US WOULD YA?! God fucking damn, it's like she's ready to pop at any moment! BTW I HAVE TO POINT SOMETHING OUT!! Look at this picture REALLY CLOSELY! It's a foreshadow, I just know it!! Anyway, the party seems to be ending and the girls are asleep. Aria wakes up and insists on waking up Hanna and Emily...HOW RUDE! IF I WAS AT THIS PARTY, I WOULDA SMACKED THE BITCH! HOW DARE SHE RUIN EMILY AND HANNA'S DREAMS!! Ugh. Anyway, she calls out "Ali, Ali where for art though, Ali?!" And the Spencer comes into the barn looking confused. Spencer informs Aria and co. that Alison had screamed bloody murder and then she dissapeared! AHH OMG ALISON IS GONE!!! WHO COULD HAVE TAKEN HER?? BTW!!! I think I just found the BEST debut of the most HORRIFIC sight of my LIFE! As dubbed by the hilarious RecapEverything....ARIA EYES!!! TAKE A LOOK MY PLL FRIENDS!!! After that, we're shown a newspaper of Alison on the front. "STILL MISSING" it says. Then we're shown a house with three words "One Year Later". OMMFG I BEGIN TO LIKE ALSON AND NOW SHE'S BEEN GONE FOR A YEAR?! WHERE ARE YOU ALI?! 

  

We're now at Aria's house. It looks like her family just moved it. I hear a voice...and it's very familiar...the shot changes...AHHHH IT'S HOLLY MARIE COMBS!!! YOU KNOW THE ACTRESS THAT PLAYS THE WITCH ON CHARMED, PIPER HALLIWELL!!!! I LOVE THAT SHOW!!!! AHHHHH! Anyway, I guess Aria and Piper moved back to Rosewood. It's the anniversary of Alison's dissapearance and Aria is so sad that they're calling it an anniversary. "It's like it's a party or something." Eh...well..I tend to agree. I'll be honest, when I first watched this, I had absolutely no problems with Aria until a very specific part in this episode. Or the next one. Some dude shows up outta nowhere demanding, and when I say demanding, I mean DEMANDING someone to take him to Lacrosse. CHILLAX DUDE! IT'S JUST A DAMN SPORT! GET OVER IT! Aria snatches Piper's keys and heads on down to the car. Dude is looking through boxes in search for whatever the hell they use in the lacrosse sport. Piper suggests that it's probably in the garage and she scoots Dude to it. Aria is left alone with Older Dude and he tries to be nicey nice to her, but Aria is like "YO. BRO. I KEEPIN YO SECRET, CHILLAX MOFO!" Older Dude asks Aria about Alison, but Aria doesn't listen. When Little Dude comes back, he and Aria are out the door. "And they're running off to practice." Says Piper. "We are officially home." Older dude smiles, but I wanna know what this secret is. What could Older Dude and Aria possibly be hiding? The possibilities!! 

Aria drops Little Dude off at practice and it's 4:15. She wants to go get some food and she checks her phone. It's a standard flip phone. Hold on...Im having a premonition... and trust me I'd rather see this phone rather than the white chunky 1885 phone she has in Season 4 Episode 1. Btw, I wanna bring something up. She just looked at the cars clock, and then she looks at her phone. Is she deaf?? Cuh-Lear-Ly the phone would have beeped, buzzed...SOMETHING!!!

Anyway, now as the scene changes, Aria is there sitting at the bar. Now hold the fuck on. I work in a bar, so I know all the laws for bars, and I KNOW this bitch aint 21! She needs to gtfo before she gets that bar shut down forreal! AND THE BARTENDER DOESN'T EVEN CARE!! She sees a poster of her gone friend Ali, and then some dude asks him whats wrong with her. She's jetlagged from her flight from Iceland. Hollis Boy-Teacher...ahem...Teacher...AH-H-HEM... Am I getting the point Im trynna make across? Teacher...TEACHER!!! Okay moving on. Hollis Boy tells Aria he's a teacher and she's like "Omg yeah? Like hey can you teach me to be a teacher??" Hollis Boy asks Aria what her major is and she says English and Writing. The two hits it off and they're flirting. I'LL BE TOTALLY HONEST I HAD NO PROBLEM WITH THIS! To me, it looked like innocent flirting. Okay, I can dig this. They tell each other they'd like to get to know each other...then...the next scene...WHAT THE FUCK!!! WHAT!? THEY JUST MET ONE FUCKING MINUTE AGO AND THEY'RE ALREADY FUCKING MAKING OUT?! ARE YOU SERIOUS!? AHHHHH!!! This is so not worth screencapping, so you'll have to deal with no pics of this scene. Then it cuts to the opening credits. Like wtf really? You wanna cut the to creds after we see two people who JUST met make out in a dirty ass bathroom? At least it'll give us time to barf.

Fun Fact!: It took the opening creds 6 minutes and 55 seconds Netflix time to get here. 

We launch the next scene with a fiesty little skinny devil named Hanna Marin. She has totally changed since last year and she is lookin' fab as ever! Hanna is shopping for new sunglasses and some girl we've never seen before is shopping for a scarf. Hanna insults Girl, telling her the scarf looks like her mother. Umm, ouch, nice on Hanna. New Girl gives Hanna a nasty look and walks off to pick out a new scarf. Hanna picks out some hot sunglasses(350$$) while New Girl picks out a reddish/pink scarf. Suddenly, Hanna sees Spencer browsing for new clothes. "I cannot believe Spencer Hastings actually has time to shop!" The two Liars talks about Alison being front page news of the paper. "Shes gone, but she's everywhere." Says Spencer. To get off the topic of Alison, Hanna changes the subject and asks why Spencer is shopping. Spencer is actually meeting a new fiancee of her sisters, Melissa. Spencer wants to buy one thing, but Hanna changes her decision with a hot purple top. "Melissa always doesn't have to be on top, Spence." Good words Hanna, good words. The two split roads and Hanna begins to....MAKE HER GET A WAY OUT OF THE MALL?! SHE'S A THIEF?! ALERT THE PRESS FOLKS, LITTLE MISS HANNA MARIN IS A THIEF!!! AHHHH!!! She begins to exit the mall, and walks right past the security Po Po. Mr Sunglasses is realizing he's been DOOPED!! Hanna is walking out with HIS products without paying and he needs to get her busted!! BTW, she is so FIERCE!! Look at her folks, those sunglasses, the top, the necklace! Then...all of a sudden...SHE IS BUSTED BY THE COP!!! AHHH HANNA RUN GIRL! Oh don't worry guys, he's just handing her purse back. Hanna and New Girl walks out of the mall COMPLETELY UNSCATHED THE LUCKY LITTLE BITCHES!!! 

The next day, Older Dude is taking Aria and Little Dude to school. It's the first day so everything needs to be perfect, I guess. Aria and Older Dude are talking about how much Older Dude loves his family Piper, and Aria's like "Do you?" DAAAAAAMN!!! TELL HIM LIKE IT IS GIRLFRIEND! The way this conversation is going, when I first watched this I totes knew what was happening. I mean, it's a no brainer. Fucking cheater, eh Older Dude? Older Dude is SO FULLA SHIT!!! I don't trust this dude at ALL!! Aria has had it, and she exits the car to go to school. That's it girl, walk away from your ho of a dad! Aria watches the back of the car as her Aria Eyes and Flashback ensues. 

Aria and Alison are walking down the block with a Nerdy New Girl(The same one from the Mall in present 

day. We'll call her Mona) Mona is trynna follow Aria and Ali, but she cannot catch up. Alison makes Aria rush out and leave Mona behind. Poor Mona turns and walks away. Poor Mona. Anyways, that's when Aria and Alison witnesses something horrible. OLD DUDE IS CHEATING ON PIPER WITH SOME BLONDE UGLY VIXEN!!! HOW DARE HE!!!! HOW DARE!!!!! Anyway Old Dude and Tramp are caught, and we now get to 

see Aria's SECOND set of ARIA EYES!!

 As we end the flashback, Emily approaches Aria and they discuss how they lost touch. Emily remembered Aria's ugly ass pink hair back in the day. Forreal, it was ugly. Get over it. Emily finally has the balls to come out and say "We all know Ali is dead." Which leaves Aria shocked as hell because she's never heard anyone say that. It's so official. Ali is dead and the Liars can move on with their lives....LMFAO YEAH FUCKIN' RIGHT!! THIS IS THE PILOT AFTER ALL! 

Emily and Aria enters their English class and Emily tells Aria that their teacher is totes HOT! They go to sit down in their seats, and Aria looks at Hanna for the first time in a year. Hanna and Mona are THE It Girls now, and they're totally hot this year. Aria notices how Hanna isn't as close to Em anymore and asks if they got into a fight. "We didn't just fall out of touch with you, Aria. We all fell outta touch with everyone." Well yeah. It's been a year. Plus Aria WAS in Istanbul, dur Em. Even SPENCER lost touch with everyone. It reminds me of what Spencer said that Alison said "Friends share secrets, it's what keeps us close." These chix totally abandoned each other. How saddening. After the new Teach, we'll call him Mr. Fitz, Mr. Fitz writes his name on the board, he goes and looks at all his students. His eyes wander. There's Spencer in her fancy school outfit, Hanna in her fashionable new clothes, Mandy Killigan in her gogo boots, Timmy Galanda with his huge eyes, Emily with her exercising uniform on(No forreal, she totally is), and then there's...Aria....OMFG IT'S SO OVER!!! The bar scene that was earlier in the episode mean't NOTHING!! When they made out? MEANT NOTHING!! Ezra is officially the teacher and Aria is the student. BYE BYE SHIP! We give her this Special Interrupted Message by A... WHICH IS TOTALLY FUCKING AWESOME!! NOT ONLY DID A INSULT HER DAD, BUT A TOTALLY BITCH SLAPPED ARIA ACROSS THE FACE!! ROFL! YOU GO, A!! 

We end the day of school, and now we're at Emily's house. Her mother is making a gift basket(I'm totally assuming it's a Welcome Basket for Aria's family). You see, earlier in the episode, Aria and Ezra were making out. Now with the news that it all meant totally nothing, Pam feels the need to make the Montgom's a basket to make the family feel better...Oh...wait...am I getting ahead of myself, AGAIN?! Sorry folks! No no no, the basket is just to welcome them back to Rosewood, I think. It's what I'm assuming. Honestly, I want that GB to be for ME!! Look at that bottle of scrumptious wine!! And those little treats!! I can totally see myself with a glass of wine, eating treats, in my bathtub with all the candles lit and shit. Like on those TV shows!! Pam also feels the need to totally INSULT Piper's parenting skills. Like how rude!! If Piper let's Aria run around her life wearing pink ugly ass strips in her hair, she can!! Back of Pam, go send someone to Get Well Camp or something! My god. Anyway, the music for the closing credits comes on, and we now approach Alison's old house. There's a retail sign that says "SOLD!" and I guess the gift basket is for them. Emily looks at the front of the house, and then on the side of the road is a bunch of Alison's things. In this pic, we see a notebook, a bike behind some boxes(at least Im assuming that's what it is), to the right of the pic, it looks like table cloth? Idk. Emily picks up a medal that Alison received(Alison actually received medals?? Honestly, she never seemed the academic medal type), and now some chick with WHACKO hair approaches Emily. ABORT EM, ABORT!!! She says her name is Maya St. Germain. That makes me feel weird. Emily welcomes Maya to the 'hood and GIVES MY GIFT BASKET, MY WINE, MY TREATS TO MAYA! HOW FUCKING RUDE!!! I WANTED THAT STUFF! I SAW IT FIRST! IT'S MINE! Maya practically wants to shove Alison's possessions down Emily's throat. THIS BITCH! SHE IS SO NOSY! "THAT'S IT?!?! I WANT MORE! MORE TO THE STORY, EMILY!" Oh dear fucking GOD! Maybe THAT'S where Emily got the annoying overused fuck you Marlene King phrase from! All. Because. Of. MAYA!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Now we get to listen to the same song that was on during Hanna and Mona's crime. Ugh, recycled music? Now here's what I feel about music on a TV show. It's fine if the song is on all the premieres(Hands of Time anyone? Love it!) it's alright if it's on the finales, but under ANY circumstances should a song NEVER repeat in the SAME fucking episode!! NEVER!! UGH! Maya is a nosy bitch and asks Emily so many questions, so to level the playing field she asks Em to ask her a question. Maya has a boyfriend named Lyndon James...I mean...Justin. Who's 3,000 miles away. We finally found out Em has a boyfriend and his name is Ben. Aww, how sweet. Since Maya's mom is supposedly a cellist(did I spell that right?), they're building a studio right on the gazebo that Jessica and Kenny DiLaurentis was building around the time Ali disappeared. Maya then asks Emily a CRAZY ASS FUCKING QUESTION: "Would you,being a jock and all, mind if I smoke a little weed?" Damn this bitch does it all within the first 5 minutes of meeting Lil Emmy! Maya asks Em if she wants to join who's all for it. Maya TOTALLY knows its Emily's first time with weed which I guess she's krempting her?? Did I get that right??

At the Hastings, Spencer is converting the Barn Animal shed into a loft, and Melissa is totally impressed!! Melissa compliments on how awesomely amazing job Spencer has done, then totally SQUASHES Spencer's feelings when she says she's moving in. To the loft that is. WHAT?! UMM I'M PRETTY FUCKING SURE SPENCER WANTS TO MOVE IN THE LOFT, SHE DIDN'T DO IT FOR YOU BITCH! I automatically HATE Melissa Hastings! Her fiancee, let's call him Wren, is also gonna be staying with the Hastings for awhile. Spencer tells her evil BITCH of a sister that she made a deal with Mr and Mrs Hastings that if she got the grades, did fab on her intern, and gave up her whole summer that SHE would get the loft in the barn. Melissa's like "Bitch don't be so conceited, you'll have to WAIT!" God Melissa is such a shelf absorbed little mangy BITCH!! UGH. Wren comes out and introduces himself with his British accent. Ahh, what a...what a... Eh. I like him better on Cry Wolf

 already. I mean, look at that uglay sweater he has on. LMFAO he never wore that shit on Cry Wolf!! Spencer gives the couple a look, and gives out her phrase, "You know how I feel about hope. It breeds eternal misery." Oh honey, don't we know that. *snaps in approval* Spencer is PISSED and she marches back into the barn while Melissa is still the conceited little BITCH she is. Ughhh!! At night, Wren is putting out a cig and is totally busted by Spencer who's reading How to Kill a Mockingbird for English. Wren feels apologetic to Spencer about how Melissa stole the barn, but Spencer's like "Whatever. I don't have a choice but to get over it." Which is totally true. I feel bad for Spence. In the last scene, she should've totally started a brawl with Melissa. That'd been EPIC! Spencer makes a comment how Wren is unusual than Melissa's other boyfriends. The thing that's so unusual about him? Spencer actually likes Wren. Awww! 

At school, Aria is wearing boots that doesn't even fucking match her dress! LOOK AT THAT!!! IT'S SO UGLY!!! WHO THE FUCK DRESSED LUCY FOR HER SCENES?! THAT BITCH DESIGNER NEEDS TO BE FIRED ASAP!!! Aria decides to confront Ezra on whatever the fuck was happening at the bar. It's a shame this ship pretty much sunk before it set sail.....(rolling eyes right now). Ezra's like "You told me you were majoring in English." and Aria's like "No, I said I was THINKING about that." I'm actually siding with Ezra. Aria said NOTHING about THINKING about majoring in it. Ezra's like "I totally fell in love with you!" And Aria's like "It's okay nothings changed. You feel this right too, just like me." Ezra pretty much says "Fuck you bitch!" and walks out. 

In our next scene, Emily decides to walk Maya the Crackhead home. Maya's like so excited how Em is her first Jock-Friend(rolls eyes) and gives her ugly ass annoying giggle(gags!), then Emily feels fucking sad 

because the dudes are THROWING ALL OF ALI'S THINGS IN THE TRUCK! Honestly, I'd feel PISSED if my missing friends shit was being THROWN in! Because forreal, it's not CONFIRMED she's dead yet. So as of now, they're tossing in a girls shit who's probably off with her pilot boyfriend or in a red coat and black wig at least SOMEWHERE! God. Then Emily tells the whole story of Alison to Maya. Maya apologizes for her sympathy and goes in FOR A QUICK KISS!! Awww that's so sweet!! Ugh, It would be sweet if I actually LIKED Maya! 

Now we see Emily getting out of the school shower. She opens up her locker and sees Spencer coming back from Lacrosse. "So you been hanging out with Aria?" Emily denies having to do anything with Aria, and opens her locker. There, she gets a note. From -A. Ohhh, Em got told!! Lmfao this -A person is rolling out punches! First Aria, now Em. Ahhhh! Spencer obviously knows something is bothering the fuck outta Emily, but Em doesn't show Spencer the note(Idiot) and Spencer walks off. Em looked freaked the fuck out! Poor girl getting harassed by -A who could totally be Alison. 

Now we see Wren in his bathing suit, and Spencer in her bikini. Spencer is drinking what looks like a 

cream soda when Wren basically asks for her towel. Creep. Wren dries off and Spencer's shoulder is in a pain. Wren offers his assistance and massages out the knot in Spencer's shoulder. This girl is TOTALLY 

feeling it!! We all know what she wants to do! Melissa calls out Wrens name, and Spencer makes a BEE LINE for outside. After Melissa enters the scene, she asks Wren who he was talking to who totally lies and says "No one." Then he fucking steals Spencer's soda because he wants more of her spit. Ew. Fucking creepy ass doctor. 

In our next scene, we see Piper taking out wine glasses and Aria's ugly ass pig puppet. Older Dude pours a glass of wine, and starts drinking it up. Older Dude starts talking about something, confusing Piper, and when she asked wtf she was talking about, Older Dude changed the subject. Ugh. Just tell her you're cheating already!! THEN WE FINALLY KNOW PIPER'S PLL NAME!! IT'S ELLA!! Seriously, I have NOT heard her first name til just now, and we still haven't heard Older Dudes name either! Ugh. Ella and Cheating Hubby cuddles and Ella talks about how she drove past Ali's house. Aww. Cheater husband assures Ella that everything is safe and nothings gonna happen(rolling eyes again). How sickening.

Anyway, at Spencer's shes on her bed reading Mockingbird. Outside, she hears laughing and insists on being nosy and snoops. We see Wren and Melissa giggling and entering the loft. Spence is totally annoyed as she watches Wrelissa making out, and then gets an email. Or an IM whateva. And ah-la, it's from -A!! Hmm looks like this -A person has something on Spencer. This is when we're shoved into a flashback with Ali, Hanna, Spencer, Melissa, and Ugly Ian. Hanna picks up a cookie and takes a bite while Alison was all, "You really gonna eat that, Sweetie? I'm being a friend, Hanna." Melissa and Ugly Ian shows up and asks if Spencer needs help with some sports thing. Out of nowhere, Alison's like "You need to tell your sister, Spence." Melissa rolls her eyes and demands to know what she needed to know. Spencer laughs it off and tells her it was totally nothing. Spencer is PISSED and asks to see Alison outside. She demands to know WTF that was that Alison tried to pull, and Alisons all like "She's gonna find out!" Spencer's like "No she is not!" Then Alison tells Spencer that if Spence doesn't tell Melissa what the fuck she did, Alison sure will! Then we FIND OUT WTH SPENCER DID!! SHE AND IAN TOTALLY KISSED!!! WOW SPENCE! FIRST IAN, THEN WREN? DAMN GURL YOU SURE GET AROUND!! Who's next, Spence?! Spencer threatens to tell EVERYONE about "The Jenna Thing" if Alison tells Melissa about "The Spian Thing". GASP!!! WHO'S 

THIS JENNA THEY SPEAK OF?! JENNA THING?! I WANNA KNOW WTF THE JENNA THING IS!!!(lmfao I CMU!) Alison walks off and we exit the flashback. Spencer walks off to her window, where it shows Alison's bedroom window(Now Mayas) and...IS ALISON ALIVE?! SHE'S IN MAYA'S ROOM!!! WTF OMG ALISON IS REALLY ALIVE???!!!??? 

Emily and Aria are outside talking on the swing. Emily brings up about how someone left a note in her locker. Aria immediately knows it's from -A and Em asks if she got a message too! Both of them are saying that only Alison knew the stuff she said on those notes/texts! They discuss the possibility that Alison might have told someone their secrets, but then Em changes the subject by saying how glad she is that Aria's back in town. Aria expresses that she feels like a total outsider and Emily does too. The girls smiles, sighs, and they end the scene. 

At the Marin Household, Mrs. Marin tells Hanna how she ran into Ella today and asks why Hanna didn't tell Ashley Aria was back in the town. Hanna sighs and tells her Mom how the girls aren't close anymore. They begin to discuss Hanna's dad and how she ran out of Hanna and Mrs. Marin. Hanna is totally fine with her Daddy running off and Mrs. Marin gives Hanna a smile. Hanna decides to pick out the croutons in her salad and then makes a comment on how Mr. Marin walked out of both she and her mama while Mrs. Marin says he only walked out on Mrs. Marin. Then she gets a text from Spencer. After making a comment that if the text was from Mona, she was staging an intervention, the like 5.2 seconds after, Ashley gets a call. LMAO looks like she needs an intervention too!! THEN THE DOORBELL RINGS!! Hanna goes to get it and we see a cop at the door who got a call from the Rosewood Mall security. HE TOTALLY BUSTED HANNA FOR STEALING THE SUNGLASSES!!(No word on Mona yet). Mrs. Marin says she probably thinks this is a terrible mistake, but the cop isn't having it. He makes Hanna turn around and he handcuffs her RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER MOM!!! At the police station, Hanna is looking pretty freaked out and nervous! Her mom is talking to the cop and it does not look good. The cop gets up from the desk to 

close the door on prying eyes. Hanna starts to pick up some candies, but she drops them once she gets a text. 

Back with Hanna, Cop rushes out and Mrs. Marin steps out of the of PD demanding Hanna follow her. In the car, Mrs. Marin tells Hanna what everyone thinks of them is important. Mrs. Marin asks Hanna if this was some way to get her Dads attention. Even more, after Hanna said she'll fix it somehow, Mrs Marin told her she would deny everything and Mrs. Marin was gonna take care of it all. 

In our next scene we see Emily walking down the sidewalks, and a song called Suggestions is on.  An ambulance is rushing down the streets and everyone is there watching to see what the fuck was going on. Honestly, I don't know WHY they're all fucking there. Unless a bomb went off. Or they declared some sorta Rosewood Parade and everyone wants to check out the festivities. Emily sees cops at Mayas house and rushes to see if shes alright. Maya informs Em that they found Alison!!! But it isn't what Emily thinks. They found Ali's BODY!!! Em FREAKS and watches the doctors roll out Alison's body. Hanna is seen in the crowd wondering what the fuck is going on. And then we see Aria in her fuckin car wondering what the fuck is going on. Em's world looks like it's being flipped upside down, and then Aria gets out of her car and see's Spencer 50 feet away from the scene. She rushes towards Spence and they looked FREAKED THE FUCK OUT!

"I heard the cops took Hanna to the police station today."

"You don't think...she'd t-talk about..."

"The Jenna Thing? We made a promise."

Later that night, Hanna is eating ice cream while watching the news of Ali's DEATH. Shes freaking out while the news person is talking. The door THROWS OPEN and Mrs Marin and Cop are MAKING THE FUCK OUT!! WHAT THE FUCK?!!? Looks like Ashley's using sex to get Hanna off the hook. Mrs. Marin gives Hanna a look and we all know it says "Imma have sex with this cop-o and everything will go away!" Hanna is obviously freaking out again.

Anyway the next day, we're at the church and a reporter is talking about Alison's death. Mrs. Ems Mom and Em walks up to Spencer's family and gives them hugs of sympathy. On a stairwell, Mr. Fitz stalks Aria and asks if Aria was a friend of Alison's. Okay there's something wrong with this scene. Why is Ezra even there?? He's new right? He was never Ali's teacher. What the fuck, get out of here man!! Don't you fucking have papers to grade? Parents to conference? SOMETHING?! Ezra is like "Idk what's worse. I don't wanna stay away from you." Then he apologizes for Alis death and for being a jerk. Aria's like "I don't wanna do anything to hurt you too." Then they kiss. WHAT?! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?! YOU KISSED YOUR TEACHERS CHEEK!! Then she said goodbye to him. Okay. I can work with this. WHAT THE FUCK THEN EZRA GRABS ARIA AND MAKES OUT WITH HER?! WHAT THE FUCK MAN YOU'RE HER TEACHER!!! YOU MOTHER FUCKING DISGUSTING LITTLE....PEDOPHILE!!! EZRA FITZ IS HEREBY A PEDOPHILE AND ARIA IS A FUCKING PIECE OF JAILBAIT FOR ACCEPTING THIS UNACCEPTABLE KISS!! WHAT DISGUSTING BEHAVIOR!!! HOW UGHHHH!!! SICKENING!!!!! God damn this is gonna make me BARF up my seafood Alfredo!! Aria walks down the steps and Ezra is just watching her. EW! I FEEL LIKE COCKROACHES AND SPIDERS AND SCORPIONS ARE CRAWLING ALL OVER ME!! KILL'EM ALL NOW!!!  

She enters the main part of the church and sees Old Jessica DiLaurentis. She hugs the mother, and requests Aria to sit up front with Hanna, Em, and Spencer. They discuss how Ali would've loved seeing her funeral. Popular in Life and Death. Aria gets a text from her Mom and we all know what the Liars are thinking. It might be from -A!! Spencer looks behind them and see's Jenna Marshall, who appears to be BLIND attending Ali's funeral! Everything sure is starting to piece together, huh.  The girls are SHOCKED to see Jenna there, and so is Jessica DiLaurentis. The Father comes out and starts Service. After it ends, The Pretty Little Liars walks out of the church. Suddenly, Wilden approaches the Liars and announces them all by first name. Spencer asks if he knows the girls. He introduces himself and says he needs to talk to them about the murder investigation. He assures he WILL FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO ALISON! Damn, he's so creepy. Like go away you creepy ass FREAK! The Liars watches Jenna get into her car and Wilden watching them. Suddenly RING RING SINGY SING SING DING A LING A LING! Cell phones are all going off!!

I'm Still Here Bitches! And I Know Everything! -A! 

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IT'S -A!! Honestly, this was a very good premiere. So much was happening, and it was like...idk. But it was a good one. I loved it! I hope ya'll enjoyed this Special recap and hope you join me soon for 4x02 Turn of the Shoe! <3 This is Ais4AlisonNotAmateur  RedCoatKatrina signing the fuck OUT!!