Welcome, welcome to another recap blog for Pretty Little Liars - Season 4 - Episode 2 -Turn of the Shoe! We start this episode off at The Brew. Spencer seems to be playing with her food(I wasn't aware this was Pretty Little Third Graders, Spence?) while Aria, Hanna, and Emily is discussing Wilden's funeral. You see, in the last episode, the Liars and Mona found Ashley's cell phone in the casket of DEAD DEAD DEAD Wilden. Now Hanna is freaking the fuck out because A knows Ashley had SOMETHING to do with Wilden's death and will torture Hanna for it. Even though this was bound to happen, did it have to happen to Ashley first?! Why oh why couldn't Pam be the target? Or Ella? Or even Byron!? UGH. I don't get this show sometimes. Emily goes to ask Spencer where Melissa is aka the Black Swan-QueenofHearts-FakeMama-BTeam Extraordinaire.
Emily: Where's your sister?
Spencer: D.C... She's interviewing for an intership.
Hanna: With who? Satan?
Hanna, Aria, and Emily continues to discuss who The Lady in Black could've been. The three of them seem
to be settling on Melissa, while Spencer is still in La-La Food Land. Aria, of all the three remaining Liars, finally asks what the fuck Spencer is doing in the picture to the right of us. Spencer is trying to figure out if it's highly possible to save the girls from the burning building. So what, Spence? Do you think the four girls fucking floated out of the building themselves?! And another thing, why CAN'T Alison be the one who pulled them out of the fire? They all thought -A stood for Alison, Mona isn't A anymore, Toby isn't A anymore. So who the FUCK is there to possibly be A?! Noel? ROFL....Um...oh. Oh dear. Anyways. Spencer totes stole Hanna's motzz stick to use it as a
plane, and then HANNA BROUGHT UP A VERY GOOD POINT! Even though Alison had two funerals(Cause the bitch is just that important), they NEVER SAW A BODY!! THANK YOU HANNA OF ALL PEOPLE FOR BRINGING THAT UP!! Emily accused Hanna of being oxygen deprived which totally is NOT THE POINT OF THE FUCKING POINT! That doesn't explain how they DIDN'T see the body!! C'mon Em! After getting frustrated Hanna decides she's had it and STOLE HER MOTZ STICK BACK!! YOU GO GIRLFRIEND!! If Spencer stole MY motz stick, fuck that shit it'd be going down like a fucking ring of fire!! Spencer has the fucking NERVE to stealthe motz back!! UMM HOW DARE 
SHE!? SERIOUSLY WHO DA FUQ TOUCHES OTHER PEOPLES FOOD!? Oh, right, SPENCER DOES! Then...my fucking GOD wtf is Mona wearing?! It looks like her shirt is 5X over her size! Ick! Btw, I love the facial expression I chose for her. It looks like she's either about to sneeze or she's totally high off her damn rocker! Plus purple does NOT fit that shirt, or the flowers. Ugh. Anyway she wants to know more about that Alison question, but Hanna is still questioning Mona's motives. How did she get Ashley's cell phone in the casket of the dead guy?? Mona's answer? She didn't. What I don't get is why isn't Spencer defending Mona? I mean, Spencer SAW that it was in the coffin so I don't get it. The four Liars stand up to face Mona...I guess that's intimidating? Uh, yeah, okay, whatever works for them. Mona, I guess, cashed in all her Get Outta Hell Free Cards so she's now in danger like the other
girls. She even invites them to go search her RV themselves to believe her!! Mona indeed leads the Girls to the RV site and she's ready to let them snoop. Emily seems to be SUPER paranoid because she has these psychic powers to tell her when somethings gonna go wrong...Nah, Im JK, but she totally wishes. Mona grabs her flash light and leads the girls to the now unlocked gate. She walks in and her jaw DROPS. The RV full of A's secets and scandal is now GONE GONE GONE!!! OMFG!!! WHAT?! AHHHHH!!! The Liars are PISSED because they think Miss Mona is up to her old tricks. Playing games and being --A. Poor little Mona declares she didn't take the RV away and the Liars are headed back to their cars. Hanna and Spencer seem to be car buddies and Aria and Emily are the other ones. Mona seems to be alone. Something must've been calling out to Aria because for some reason she held Emily back. I don't know if Aria knew something was gonna happen or not because if she saw someone moving in the back of Mona's car, wouldn't Emily
have noticed too?? Did Aria KNOW that something bad was gonna happen to Mona?? The Lady In Black AKA --A is now strangling Mona!! WTF?! But if that was going to happen, WHY AND HOW did Aria know to stop Emily?!?! Hmm. Anyways, Mona's being attacked now. Mona's cat starts to fault, and she miraculously grabs her flashlight and BANGS IT on A's head!! BTW, just because there was a female in the Alison Mask A suit, doesn't mean it's gonna be a female. Remember in Season 1 when Hanna ran over Mona and a guy grunted? Yeah, Im just sayin. Mona gets the fuck out of her car and rolls onto the ground. A turns the car around and SPEEDS THE FUCK UP TO HIT ARIA, EMILY,
AND MONA!! AHHH! Emily pushes Aria and Mona out of the way and falls the fuck down on a huge gigantic rock. Ouch. She totes broke her shoulder! Im calling it right now!! Poor Em, she ALWAYS manages to get her ass in the hospital. After she breaks her shoulder, A drives away and we're lead into the Opening Credits.(5mins 18secs, that's 1min and 30ish seconds earlier from the premiere)
After the creds. we see Hanna walking down the stairs reading her texts. Aria informs her that Mona found
her car last night. Yay! And as an added bonus, Ashley Marin is back from NYC! Yay!!! So Im watching this scene and Ashley seems so suspicious! She and Hanna are talking about NYC, how there werent any windows in the conference room, etc etc. Hanna is grilling her about NYC but Ash can't answer much. Hanna declares she's going to Hell for saying she wanted Wilden dead, and Ash delivers a funny line of "Hope not, you'll have to go see him again." After that, Ashley goes to walk to the front door, but then Hanna stops her and shows her her cell phone. "Mom I found this in the mailbox." Then Ashley's like "I must have left it at the desk..." LMFAO ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! THIS IS LIKE A MOTHER LIKE DAUGHTER SCENARIO!!! I remember back in Season 1 when they coulda told each other everything.... *looks around* Pfft. Yeah right.
So as the scenes change, we're at Spencers who just received an application from UPENN. I remember way back when she applied to this school. Through CeCe. Through a guy. A random guy. A guy we never ever fucking saw on screen. By the way, where the FUCK IS CeCe?! The last we saw her she was running off to Nowhere Land with her article of red clothing that got everyone in a tizzy. Sighs. Moving on. Spencer opens the letter and then...and then....SHE...(Refer to Picture for answer) Naahh JK! SHE TOTALLY GOT DENIED!!! Seriously did she expect to actually get in? I mean this is fucking CeCe we're talking about here. Like come on!! Spencer looks shocked as fuck, but I really don't get why. Unless I got schools mixed up and it wasn't the one she got CeCe to help her with. Can someone confirm this?? I don't feel like going back to look. *scratches neck*.
Aria and Hanna are talking about the Lady In Black/A and Hanna's Mom. A is attacking the parents now
which is pretty badfuckingass. This next part was FUCKING TOTALLY EPIC!!! Aria told her a supposedly rhetoric statement(What a Liar) and Hanna's like "Omg, yeah, Im gonna listen to Aria!!" Hanna turns around and see's Shana. Aria had told her she could always ask Shana why she wasn't at the Funeral. Look at how feirce Hanna looks!! I loved the way she marched right up to Shana and was like "WHERE WERE YOU WHEN YOUR BESTIE WAS GETTING THROWN INTO THE GROUND?!" Shana looked at her like she was a fucking psycho and returned the slap back with a "I was at a swim meet. Didn't know I had to sign a contract just to tell you what my plans were." It was pretty badass in my opinion. Hanna was awesome during this scene, and we all could tell Shana was affected by it. Could Shana be the Lady In Black? Or could this be a red herring trynna get us confused or something? Hmm what to think, what to think.
In our next scene we see Paily looking at Paiges laptop. Paige used some kinda 3D tech program to design a dorm Em and she would live in at Stanford. I'll be honest, the room actually looks pretty good. I surprisingly have no complaints about this dorm like at all. I mean there could be better pictures hung up on the wall, but that's it. Then Emily was all like "The beds could be pushed together though." This little vixen!! Who knew Emily had THIS type of behavior in her?!?! We need to see more of this from Emily, don't ya'll agree?? I might finally stop falling asleep when she's on my fucking TV Screen LOL!!! Not only 5mins later, Paige hurts Emily's arm. Well not intentionally...but it is intentional if she's the Lady In Black...Hmmm.... Anyway Emily screams 
out in pain, falls on the floor and raises her hands and legs like a motherfucking dead rat!!! Nooo jk! She talks it off with Paige by telling her she just slept funny and cant swim at the meet tomorrow, and goes back to wanting to see more of the dorm because she totally doesn't want to tell Paige about A. Fuckin girlfriend, right? Just tell her about your stalker, Em!! Ugh, whatevz. It's your dumb love life when A goes to fucking behead Paige. Seriously folks, a beheading isn't impossible in PLL World.
At Spencers, Toby enters the house and Spence tucks away her rejection letter between her books on her 
shelf. I don't know why she wants her rejection to be a secret unless she plans to go undercover as -A and blackmail the campus into letting her get in the school. That'd be epic to watch honestly. Can I just say, I LOVE Tobys hair? It has come a LONG WAY since Season 1 and I think it's perfecto! And his eyes totally makes me swoon. I mean just look at that picture!! Btw his looks does NOT excuse his attitude. Toby is acting so fucking WEIRD and Spencer is like "Wtf is wrong with you?!" I don't get it either, Spence. He's all like "I can't do this, I can't do that, I have to get it done TODAY SPENCER OKAY?!" -A keeps on calling Toby or texting her, and Spencer tells Tobes her P.I.C. was almost killed last night! HE JUST DOESN'T CARE ANYMORE!! TOBY WHAT IS UP WITH YOU?!?! Ahhhh! So Spencer decides to go to school, and Mona is looking so worried. Isn't this kinda awesome? The whole A-Team has turned the fuck around and are looking behind their backs ALL THE TIME NOW! This is fucking DUMB!! Poor ATeam, I feel so bad for them!! Anyway, in English Pedza is talking about some
book for Extra Credit the Something in the Somethings and then when class is dismissed Aria wants to know if Spencer is gonna join them. "In a minute." Then Mona gives us a hilarious yet ironic line, "We'll see you in the courtyard." I FUCKING LOVE MONA!!! She is TOTALLY INNOCENT in all of this, and she's FORCING the girls to hang out with her!! I love it!! Ahhhh!! At first, I was like "Why the fuck are they forcing Ezra and Spencer to have a scene together?!" But then it was about how Spencer didn't get into UPENN(Thanks a lot CeCe), and Ezra told her he can help her with the college essays during the weekend. How is it that when Ezra and Aria has scenes together I fucking HATE THEIR MOTHER FUCKING GUYS TO PIECES, yet when they have scenes with other people, I start to tolerate them?? This shit doesn't make sense. At all.
This next scene features Hanna and Emily and I want to bring something to everyones attention!! Hanna is in her kitchen getting something to drink. First of all, this is a perfect Second Example on how actors and actresses cannot eat or drink during their scenes. Hanna takes ONE sip, ditches the very nice glass she has, and takes her can to the sink. Second of all, I really wanna know where Marlene got those glasses from!! I want a set just like Hanna's!! Anyway at the sink, Hanna just happens to look under the sink to find a bag full of her moms shoes
and a toothbrush. So Ashley tried to clean her really good shoes off with a toothbrush?! And they're HIGH HEELS?! Hmm interesting indeed. As for Emily, she's taking pills to ease the pain of her shoulder, which in true PLL style we can all expect something very bad to happen. Nobody on PLL takes pills and suffers consequences. Sorry, but not happening. Emily decides to be even more fucking STUPID and takes even more pills for the road. What a fucking dumbass. You think when A sabotaged her medicine back in season 1 she'd learn. Stupid idiot.
In our next scene, we enter the most fabulous scene ever!! I find it funny they used Holden as an excuse for Aria to go to the karate school JUST TO SEE JAKE!! By the way, Jake is mother fucking HOT!! Ryan Guzman was the PERFECT choice for Aria's new lover/endgame. I'm calling it now! I am officially on Jakria's ship. *jumps on the ship and takes the wheel* All aboard of Jakria ship you guys!! I am your Captain Katrina!! First, we'll go and finish this scene with Jakria! God damn, Jake
is soooo FINE!!! JUST LOOK AT HIM YOU GUYS!! His eyes, his skin tone, his hair, his smile :) A totally better love interest for Aria. You go gurlfriend!! The reason why Aria wants to take karate classes is because she's afraid since she's small, she can be targeted easily just like Mona...which isn't exactly true, but we can look past this since Jake is hot, and Aria does something I will scream for joy about later in this recap. Keep going this way Aria, and I'll actually start to like you! Go back to Pedza and I'll bash you for all eternity. I love how they ended this scene!! It was Jake asking "Can I get your name or do you go by "Holdens Friend?" It was quite funny!
Ashley comes into Hanna's room in our next scene, and she's a fucking BITCH! I still love her though, but the way Ashley is acting is so weird! Things aren't looking too good for our Favorite Rosewood Mom. Sad 
times. Ashley collects Hanna's laundry, so Hanna thinks this is the PERFECT time to bring up her mothers Manolos under the sink. Ash goes into total bitch mode on Hanna! She orders Hanna to finish her book and go to sleep because she needs rest! What the fuck is this chick hiding?! Was she truly in New York the whole time she was off screen of PLL?? Omg this is an answer I totally need right away!! Ashley is my favorite parent out of all of them so I don't want anything to happen to her! Ughh!! Why can't Byron be the one who's being suspicious? God dammit.
In the next scene, Hanna is at Spencers and Jessica DiLaurentis happens to see her. Jessica asks Hanna for planting advice as a way to make her yard seem more...idk...happy? She says that a raccoon or whatever is living under the house, since her garden keeps getting messed up, but I really just think it's Alison trying to piss the fuck off her mother. LMFAO I can see that happening!! Then we see a camera inside Jessica's house which is suppose to be some mystery person who's obviously spying on Hanna and Jessica. Is Alison in the house right now? Is Jason? Or is the Lady In Black in the house?? Who the fuck is in the house right now?! Just another fucking question we need an answer to. Ugh!! Suddenly someone fucking talks out of nowhere! "Did you miss me?" Says the unknown creature Jessica says was a gift from her mother in law, Grandma D. Jessica leads Hanna up the porch and introduces her to Tippy the parrot!!
This is a very unique parrot and can I just say that the producers ACTUALLY MANAGED to make the bird WORK with the show?! I remember when spoilers were released and a bird was known to be added to the cast and we were all like "OMFG LMFAO THIS IS SO STUPID!!" When the episode was on, I was totally loving the bird! Tippy was so fucking funny! Tippy asks if they miss her, do you want a sweet potato? And Hanna immediately aknowledges how Tippy sounds Just. Like. Ali!! Jessica informs her that Tippy and Alison shared a room together when Ali visited Grandma D. In fact, she spent more time with Tippy than she did with Grandma D. Wow. BTW, the fact that Jessica knows about Hefty Hanna is like "Seriously?" For some reason, the way Jessica told Hanna Tippy didn't know about Hefty Hanna only tells me that Jessica and Ken did NOTHING to stop Alison from calling Hanna that. Wow. Just wow.
So at school, Ezra is going over Spencers college essay. No offense to Spencer, but why the fuck couldn't she go to Ella for this?! Im so SICK AND TIRED of seeing Ezra!! Fuck this! I don't even wanna write about this, so here it is in a nutshell: Ezra sucks, Spencer rocks, Spencer wants to get into college, she insults Ezra, and gets sick and tired of him too. Fuck him. Plus I bet Spencers essay ROCKED AS HELL, Ezra's just a pussy because Aria found a hotter sexier guy to be with! FuckYouEzraFitz!! Ezra is so rude. Forreal I bet Spencer's essay with an A 6X Plus! I hate this scene.
So now we're at Aria's karate lesson!!! This is the scene I've been waiting for so let's dig in shall we? Aria wants to learn as much as she 
can because she want's to defend herself against A just in case something happens to her like it did with Mona. Jake is very smart! He knows someone may be wanting to try to hurt Aria. The Liar immediately wants to go back to what she was learning, and learn almost every possible thing in the book. Jake goes behind Aria to position her arms. I'll the one of the first people to say this scene is fucking HOT!! I'm actually jealous of Aria because if I ever go take a karate class, I want an instructor just like Jake!! Aria girl, you need a trophy because this is the first fucking time I am ever jealous of you!! The PLL Gods are totally in your favor, and for that, I applaude you! Aria gets all pissy and tells Jake that she just broke up with her boyfriend. Jake, being the most handsome prince he is, asks if Ezra is the one Aria is afraid of.(I WISH!!!) Jake knows exactly what Aria is feeling. Angry and powerless. He asks if Aria feels comfortable in her own skin, which she doesn't. I'd feel the same way honestly. I don't want anyone attacking ME from behind! Plus being shoved in a box really can take a tow on someone, can't it? He takes her hand and pulls her back to the lesson. God this is fucking hot. That's A LOT coming from me. Katrina is FINALLY tolerating Aria!! Unfortuantly the more epic this scene is turning out to be, the PLL Gods decides to teast us and change it up.
We're back at Hanna and Jessica DiLaurentis and Hanna is asking whether or not Jessica really saw the body of Alison. Jessica didn't actually SEE it, but she did see the yellow blouse. Are you kidding me? Even JESSICA isn't sure her daughter is fucking dead. This is when we're forced into a flashback featuring Jessica and Alison DiLaurentis. The mother and daughter are having lunch together and Alison talks her mom into ordering an alcoholic beverage. "I won't tell dad." She says. We learn a little more about the night Ali dissapeared...sort of. Alison wants to invite the girls over to Cape May for a sleepover, but Jessica doesn't know why she can't just have the sleepover in Rosewood. Ali said it'd "Suck [balls]." They also talk about how Ali bought a new yellow top that same day of the luncheon. You know, the yellow 
revealing top that Alison "died" in? Yeah, that one. Suddenly, Alison takes in a HUGE gulp of air and begins to hold her breath. Seriously, she holds it for a LONG ASS TIME! I'm thinking that she use to be on the swim team or something. This also answers our question on how Ali burried herself out of the ground. She obviously knew she was being burried, so she sucked in a fuck load of air, and used her adrenaline to 
dig herself the fuck out!! I also think the person who helped her out was a total surprise for her and she was actually planning on digging herself totally out! Jessica loses her fucking temper and THROWS HER FUCKING DRINK AT ALISON!! AND IN THE FUCKIN' END OF IT ALL...ALISON...FUCKING...WON!!! ONE NIGHT SHE WAS PROMISED IN CAPE MAY! Alison is a fucking BADASS!! We go back to the present and all along Jessica suspected Ali hanging out with an older crowd. Tippy all of a sudden starts singing a song and Hanna stares at the bird. Jessica basically gives the bird away to Hanna since there are "Enough voices in her head". Huh. Interesting.
So we're back at Karate Class and Aria and Jake are going at it. He's teaching her more moves, and by the looks of it, we totally know she's liking it!! Way to go Aria!! Jake tells Aria to step through slowly, and she ends up tripping and has her hand on Jake's chest. Sadly the bell rings indicating Jakria's class was over, but Jake doesn't care! He insists on continuing!(Yes! Yes! Yesss!) Aria perfected the move to a fuckin' T!!
Jake asks if Aria now feels like she's in control. She nods. And then, she does the most amazing thing Anti-Ezria fans can hope for!! SHE FUCKING KISSES JAKE!!!! *SETS OFF THE FIREWORKS AND POPS OPEN THE PEACH CHAMPAGNE* OHH LALA ARIA MONTGOMERY HAS A NEW LOVER TO DATE!!!! Feel free to look to our right for a perfect screencap! Thank you so much Marlene, Bryan, and Joseph for giving Aria a hot sexy love interst, AND for making Aria kiss Jake, AND
for it NOT to be a fucking dream!! You guys totally gave me what I wanted!! Sorry Pedza, see you never ever ever again!!! Muahahaha!!! When Aria excuses herself from the lesson since it was technically over, she rushed back to her car and flipped out and called herself stupid..? Girl, you did something RIGHT!! There's no reason to feel stupid for kissing a hot sexy karate instructor!! Embrace Jakria, don't ignore it girlfriend!! As we continue on with the scene, Aria approaches a road
block because it's going under construction. She sees Mona talking to a coppo and rushes to pick her up. Mona gives Aria a death --A glare and thanked the cop before getting into the car. Seriously just LOOK at that glare Mona is giving Aria!! Mona's been A for how long? So she obviousl knows what the fuck she's doing(Maybe) and Aria approaches her and talks to her like she's a fucking pile of rocks!!(Mona's words, not mine!) Mona is obviously trying to help herself and the four girls, and she keeps getting treated like shit. I'd at least give Mona a fucking chance. I mean everything she's done since the S4 Premiere has been all true. We completely end Aria's three scenes(Not that Im complaining honestly, I'd love another Jakria scene) with Mona telling her she overheard Special PI's talking about Wildens footprints and a womans footprints in high heels being on top of some hill or whatever, but Mona thinks it's Alison's heels, of course.
"FUCK THIS ESSAY!!!!" RIP! SMASH!! SCREEEECH! This is Spencer ripping up her essay that received an F+++ from Pedza. Spoby is meeting up so Tobes thinks it's the perfect opp. to tell Spencer he took the RV with alllllll the evidence to Alison. Spencer flips out asking why he'd make so many deals with the devil! Toby finally reveals why he has done A's bidding! He tells Spencer that he has papers about the night Marion died. Toby's mom ended up committing suicide when she was a patient at Radley.
With only fifteen minutes left, we join Emily who's just coming in to the locker rooms from the pool. She
takes even more fucking pain pills(Dumbass!!!!) and Shana appears out of fucking nowhere. She asks Emily for a swimming cap, but Emily responds by saying she HATES talking before a swim meet. Shana continues her conversation by asking why Hanna thought she was buddy-buddy with Wilden. Shana knows there's one more spot left on Stanfords team and SHE wants it!! She's gonna HAVE IT!! Emily glares at Shana with evilish eyes. EMILY IS A FUCKING DUMBASS!!! SHE TAKES ANOTHER FUCKING PAIN KILLER! WTF ARE YOU TRYING TO FUCKING KILL YOURSELF YOU PATHETIC LITTLE JEALOUS DUMBASS?! I THOUGHT THIS BITCHES SCENES WOULD MAKE ME FALL THE FUCK ASLEEP, BUT MAKE ME THINK EMILY HAS GONE OFF THE DEEPEND AND TURN INTO A MOTHER FUCKING PSYCHOTIC DANGER TO HERSELF!!!
At Spencers, she's reading off Marions Radley report. Basically she lead the doctors to believe she was getting all better and shit. She talked everyone into thinking she was healed, but then she opened a window and jumped out resulting in her death. This is what -A has been keeping over Tobys head and used it just to she could get the RV back. Toby is determined to know everything about what happened to Marion, and that's when Aria showed up. Toby begs Spencer not to tell Aria about Marion, and Spencer agrees. Toby leaves and Aria comes in and say hey.
This next scene confuses me. Why aren't Aria, Spencer, and Hanna at the swim meet?? They've been to every fucking meet except this one? This is a bad meet anyway, because Emily starts to feel groggy as
FUCK because she ODed on pain killers. While she's swimming, everything becomes dizzy and groggy as fuck even more and before she can flip herself over, she BONKS HER HEAD on the fucking wall and cracks open her fucking forehead!! OMG THIS BITCH IS STUPID!!! WHY THE FUCK WOULD SHE FUCKING TAKE PAIN PILLS AND GO INTO A POOL?! I HATE THIS BITCH! EMILY IS A FUCKING INSANE PSYCHO BABBLING LITTLE DUMBASS!! IT'S LIKE WHEN ARIA GOT A NEW LOVE INTEREST, SHE PASSED ON HER STUPIDITY TO FUCKING EMILY!!! WTF!!!!!!!! They roll Emily back into the locker room and the medic informs Em she needs stiches in her head. Eww.
So we're at Spencers house and Spence is pouring them a fancy glass of soda. Aria delivers an actual funny line when she said "Mona's been lying when she was a fetus." LMFAO I actually found that funny!! Aria goes on to how she kissed Jake(LOVE IT!) he smells like cinnamon(ROFL!!!) and she snaps at Spencer to pay attention since Spence asked who Jake was. LMFAO I LOVE THIS SHOW!!! Hanna comes into Spencers and is pissed that noone picked up her calls. She's 
holding onto Tippys cage and when Aria and Spencer accuses Hanna of theft. "I didn't take the bird, okay? Mrs. DiLaurentis gave it to me!" That's when Aria gives Hanna her infamous ARIA EYES!!!! HILARIOUS!!!! PLUS, THANKS TO FUCKING HANNA, SPENCER AND ARIA ARE IGNORING THEIR YELLOW DRINKS!!! Yeah that's right folks, Im keeping track of this shit. "Does it take requests?" LMFAO Spencer, keep those lines up! Hanna knows Ali was meeting up with a guy in Cape May and the bird of all living creatures possibly knows who the fuck that dude is. Aria's like "We already know it was Wilden!" But Hanna starts to think it was possibly someone else. Yeah like we need another fucking mystery. What is this, another fucking verison of Clue? Suddenly Tippy decides to actually speak!! "Hey Boardshorts, did you miss me?" Then we're given a little whatever the fuck it's called when Aria asks "Did you hear that?" and Spencer goes "Yeah Im standing right next to you." I believe it was Hanna or Emily who asked that in Season 1? Anyways. Tippy starts to sing a song and Aria wants to know what the fuck kinda song the birds singing. At first I really was trynna to desipher it, and I thought it was insulting Aria honestly. Before I even know Aria was gonna kiss Jake, I was teasing her with a little script I like to write. I had Aria pet the bird on its back after Hanna asked if they needed to feed it to get it to talk. I had the bird fall on the counter and die right there. So yeah, in my script I made Aria a bird killer. LMFAO!!!
So at night, Ashley is at home texting someone. Hanna goes into the kitchen and grills her mama about the possibility that maybe Ashley killed Wilden!! DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNN!!! ASHLEY MARIN IS A FUCKING KILLER! ALERT THE PRESSES! BOOK THE PARTIES!! ORDER KATRINA SOME FIREWORKS CAUSE ASHLEY DID US ALL A FAVOR!!!! Honestly, I bet A killed Wilden and will blame it alllll on Ashley, and Ashley KNOWS A is gonna fucking blame it all on her! Its why she's acting so fucking SKETCHY!! Ashley point blank DENIES any chances of killing Wilden. What if this is true?? She obviously did something WORSE because we're just BOUND to hate her, right? Hmm, what oh what did Ashley do that was so hateful??
This next scene is fucking hilarious! Tippy keeps repeating the same damn song at Spencers over and over! Honestly, I'm surprised with all Spencer went through is S3B, she never thought once to kill the bird?? I mean she was -A, right? She had every opportunity to take the bird and kill it. Or strap it down on a fucking table and pluck out its feathers one by one. Instead, she read Marion's obituary and Tippy keeps singing the same fucking song STILL!! She calls Hanna and ORDERS her...no fucking DEMANDS HER to come the fuck over and get the bird OUT of Spence's sight!!(Aheeem....torture 
table, Spence, tortureeeeee tabllllllllle!) Then we're delivered a HILARIOUS line with a HILARIIIIOUS SCREENCAP!!! "YOU CAN'T IGNORE ME FOREVER!!!!" Suddenly, she redials Hanna and again and then...it hits her. Could Tippy be...singing a PHONE NUMBER?!! WHAT THE FUCK?! ALISON HAD THE ABILITY TO TEACH TIPPY A MOTHER FUCKING PHONE NUMBER?!!? ROFL THIS FUCKING BIRD I SWEAR TO THE PLL GODS!!! ROFFFL!!! Hanna FINALLY picks up and Spencer has debunked it!!! Tippy has a phone number!!!
In our next scene, we see Aria texting away in her living room. That's when she sees a shadow outside of her house. She freaks out and goes up to investigate. Suddenly, the doorbell rings. OMG!! She goes to open the door....AHHHHH IT'S FUCKING A!!!! RUN FOR OUR LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.....Nahhh Jk. it's the sexy Jake! He came over to Aria's. He wants to talk to her about something but doesn't wanna do it over the phone. When he comes inside, he thinks Aria does not wanna go back. Pfft, yeah right. Jake don't worry, Aria will jump your bones. Ezra is totally gone forever!! No need to feel like that. Jake wants Aria to know that there are no hard feelings about the kiss she gave him earlier
in the episode. Jake TOTALLY ASKED ARIA OUT ON A DATE!!! CUP OF COFFEE? A MEAL?? SHE'S IN JAKE! SHE'S TOTALLY IN! DON'T LET HER SAY NO! ARIA PLEASE DON'T SAY NO!!! Have ya'll noticed I did not call Aria Jailbait ONCE in this recap?! Don't ya'll think that means something?? Anyway Spencer ruins fucking everything by calling Aria. SHUT UP SPENCE!!! DON'T RUIN THE JAKRIA MOMENT!! Jake also delivers a hilarious line. "Maybe you're not into the whole teacher/student thing." Let me be the first to tell you THIS DOES NOT COUNT AS A STUDENT TEACHER RELATIONSHIP!!! This is Aria VOLUNTEERING to take karate classes. This is NOT FOR ACADEMIC PURPOSES!! So I hope Jake and Aria takes off ship. PLEASE TAKE OFF THE SHIP!!! I WANT THE SHIP TO GO AND BE SUCCESSFUL DAMMIT!!! Before Jake leaves, Aria accepts his coffee date. YAY!!! He leaves and Spencer calls Aria again. DAMN JUST PICK UP THE FUCKIN PHONE!!
This next scene is a Paily scene. I hate it, They are boring, so I am not going into deep detail on this. Basically, Emily confesses that A is back in her life and Paige is upset she kept it a secret. Emily doesn't want Paige to know cause she doesn't want Paige to die and Emily wants to go to Cali and live with Paige forever. Boring.
We're back at Spencers with Aria, Spence, and Hanna, They're calling the number Tippy gave them but the phone just rings and rings. Well yeah you're calling a number that a BIRD gave you...duh. I still go by with what I said earlier today. Spencer should've strapped Trippy...I mean Tippy...to a table and disected the annoying fucking parrot!! Hanna wants to record the parrots song because theres noone answering the call. When the girls goes up to Spencers... THE BIRD HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED!!! SOMEONE FUCKING CALL 911 NOW!!! A BIRD THAT KNOWS ALI'S FUCKING SECRETS IS GONE AND THE LIARS NEEDS 
IT BACK NOW!! AHHHH THIS IS...THIS IS....Oh fuck it. A is way too good for the cops to find a fucking missing BIRD!! Spencer notices her windows open and she picks up a feather. Uh oh. A is sooo good at breaking and entering!! In the final scenes of the episode, we see Ashley drinking a bottle of wine and she packages her dirty shoes in newspapers and stuffs them in a bag. She takes it outside but when she does the light bulb BURSTS!!! She freaks out, but continues her mission. Did Ashley Marin kill Det. Wilden??
In our FINAL SCENE of the episode, A is eating some rice, beans and a little chicken/bird. A lifts her fork and tries to feed it to Trippy. I mean Tippy.
In my opinion this episdoe DELIVERED!! In MORE WAYS THAN ONE!! It was a pretty good episode, and I remember Ezra only having ONE SCENE!!! So this was EPIC and AWESOME!!! THANK YOU MARLENE, BRYAN AND JOSEPH FOR FUCKING GIVING ARIA A LOVE INTEREST LIKE JAKE!!! Until next time folks, Ais4AlisonNotAmateur RedCoatKatrina is officially OUT!!!!
PEACE OUT!!!
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